Being A Sports Fan Sucks

"How could you not love sports?" This is a question I ask myself sometimes thinking about others. Now, here I sit, at 12:40 AM in my bed envious of them. It is the week before finals, and I have to be up in less than six hours for class. All because of one tweet that came across my phone right as I was putting it down to go to bed. I have a pit in my stomach, and if I did not feel so empty inside might have cried already. I know the tears will come, it is just a matter of time. 

To add a little context to this situation, I am a Boston sports fan. A die-hard one at that. I live and breathe with everything that happens to the Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, and Celtics. I know I am invested too much into it, and that sometimes it is unhealthy. I cannot help it, and wouldn't change it anyway. It is what I know, and how I like it. It just sucks sometimes, and tonight is one of those times. Seeing that John Heymen tweet announcing Xander Bogaerts had signed with the Padres crushed me. I feel like I was broken up with by a girlfriend, or that a family member had passed. I know it is not normal to feel this way, but it is what happens when you become overly invested in your team.

Xander embodied the Boston Red Sox and was essentially the captain of that team even if he did not technically have a C stitched into his jersey. It is inexplicable that he was even allowed to happen. But my thoughts on the failure this was is something I will dive into tomorrow morning. Because of what Xander meant to this team, losing him hurts so much more. He was one of the few constants in my life for the past decade, and now I have to see him play for another team. 

Sure some highs come with sports fandom. That joy you feel when you beat your rival, or the incredible feeling you get when you are lucky enough to witness your team win a championship. These highs do not even come close enough to the lows you feel. Times like this ruin it all. If this were a financial investment, it would be clear that it is not worth it, as the losses outweigh the gains. I am going to wake up tomorrow for class, and see rival teams fans making fun of my team for their failure (as they should). I will see the many tribute videos people will have made, to a man who should have spent his entire career in Boston. I know there is a good chance that watching these will trigger tears. That won't stop me from watching every last one of them multiple times. Is that a little crazy, sure, but I am not ashamed of that. It is what it is, and that's the reality of being the type of fan I am. 

On a day when the Bruins and Celtics continued their dominance as the best teams in their respective leagues, I am not happy at all. This brings me back to the question that opened this piece. I understand why people do not have sports in their lives. It is why I am jealous of them. Because being a sports fan sucks.